There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will’ - Epictetus.
2020 - What a year! A year of engagements, tears, cancelations, and postponements. If you’re a couple planning a wedding in this new mad world you can’t escape the questions from loved ones, the stress, confusion and the fear that your day won’t be special.
When you speak to brides nowadays the excitement of ‘where’s your venue?’ ‘Have you found your dress?’ ‘How many bridesmaids are you having?’ has been replaced with ‘shouldn’t you be rescheduling?’ ‘Covid mean’s you’ll all be in masks?’ ‘What will you do if your venue or suppliers cancels?
I myself have had a huge range of questions from friends, family and colleagues all seemingly unaware at the negative impact it can have on a newly engaged couple. This got me thinking - how do you keep yourself excited about your day and take sensible steps to protect your money in case the worst should happen?
It seems to me there are three types of couples:
Well done! You’ve taken the bull by the horns and given yourself so much more time to plan your perfect day with all you favourite people. Be mindful that your new date may not be any less restrictive. Without a magic ball and this virus may be with us for some time 2021? 2022? 2023? We keep our fingers crossed but if this is a real concern you may want to hold off, travel or buy a house until more certain news is in place.
Couples continuing regardless
I applaud you! To continue regardless is a huge decision, your day may not be anything like you imagined but after talking to couples that have gone ahead have felt the intimacy of a small wedding a beautiful surprise. For others though, they can’t quite get past that feeling of wishing they’d held off. This really has to be a decision made by both you and I wish you luck in this!
(We should also add a huge thank you! This will help support your wedding suppliers after their most challenging year to date - your day will mean the world to each of them!)
This is most of us, this is possibly the most stressful position to be in, but if you rewire your thoughts this could also be the best position for your mental health.
We all know with restrictions changing and fluctuating, you need to keep track of your plans. Unless you hear from a supplier or venue saying there’s a problem, you have no reason to worry yourself unnecessarily so start making contact with them 3/4 months before your big day.
Helpful tips – Pay for suppliers and venues on a 0% credit card where possible! As many couples haven't managed to secure wedding insurance, this should go some way to protecting your money.
Remember - Be mindful of postponing, your supplier may already be booked on your new date so act swiftly to avoid losing your deposits. Postponing has become such a popular option, and suppliers on the whole are being fantastic at moving things around where they can to accommodate their couples.
At ‘The Dusty Barn’ we have noticed that many couples ordering ‘guest books’ and ‘welcome to our wedding boards’ are nervous about adding a date incase of changes - we want to let you know that we will honour to keep your order until you confirm the date (within 4 weeks of your big day) meaning you can place your order now and have that security of knowing that the date is almost the last thing you have to worry about confirming. If you’re interested in taking a look, please go to the wedding page on our website www.thedustybarn.co.uk
Current covid restrictions (October 2020)
- Keep yourself informed as your date draws near – visit www.gov.uk
- 15 guests including venue staff.
- Venue managers have discretion over whether they are safe to open.
- Social distancing guidelines apply.
- Seating only in ceremonies.
- Guests need to wear face masks.
- Ensure your venue provides hand sanitiser.
- If you can – get outside! Eat, ceremony and ‘party’ you’ll increase your chance for a better time with an outdoor gathering.
- Speeches outdoors and all spaces ventilated, barn doors open and so on.
- No buffets, food served only (a great idea, have guests bring their own food for a picnic style meal)
- No dancing – a garden party might be more appropriate.
- Avoid the nearly outdated bouquet toss, confetti and photo booths to minimise things being unnecessarily touched and so on.